Just as Sane as I Am

I woke up last Thursday unsure if my water had broken. Listen, don't judge me. When you're pregnant and you do all the reading, you learn quickly that your water breaking in real life isn't nearly as dramatic as it is on TV. It's not a giant gush, the way Pam on The Office  would have you believe when she hid a water bottle between her legs to get out of a meeting. Especially not if you're sitting or standing, in which case the baby's head serves almost like a cork to stop the liquid from coming out that much. (I know, pleasant to think about.) When laying down, things can get a little messier, and I didn't seem to be that bad. Still... I googled things and found that some women can end up with a slow leak of amniotic fluid, which isn't good for the baby. The vast majority of women don't have their water break until they're well into labor, but still, I worried. At least a little. I didn't actually think anything was happening... but what...

38 week doctor's appointment. Dr. came in and, after a brief hello, said, "So. Do you want to have this baby next week?" I gave a little laugh. Haha, that'd be nice. But it turned out he was very serious. He said we could induce, put it on the calendar. Having a baby at 39 weeks is "a great time to deliver." She's not going to develop any more, and she's already ready. If I'm tired of being pregnant, which most women he's encountered are by this time, we can just do it. Some people think there's an increased risk of C-section with induction, but he doesn't. Sometimes you need one, sometimes you don't. Plus then I could guarantee that he'd do my delivery. Also, even though I was at 38 weeks, "nothing was going on." She hadn't dropped, and I hadn't dilated at all. In most pregnancies, especially most first ones, those things have happened already. I was really pretty caught off guard by this proposa...

I mean, it could have been shittier than it was. I was sitting on the couch in my basement, averting my eyes from plumber's crack the other day, with the threat of opening a sewer line in my house and getting sprayed with whatever was behind it. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The figuratively shitty situation came first. My disability insurance company called me back to say that they do not, indeed, cover pregnancies. I have a long term policy, not a short term one. The company I have insurance with doesn't even OFFER short term policies. I was very quiet on the phone, unlike last time, where I screamed at the poor woman who took my call. (Don't worry - I also apologized to her profusely and did my best to make clear that I was screaming at the situation, not her. I know, I wrote about this last time.) The woman I was speaking to apologized multiple times, but I know there was nothing she could do. I just didn't love that when I told her I bought a new hou...