Endless Circles
Saturday night. Driving home. Jon and Lily in the back seat. Coming around the traffic circle two minutes from our house. Blinker on to get off at our exit.
"Watch out!" from the backseat.
Bam!
They hit us.
I hadn't even seen the car come up on my left side. They hit near the wheel well of the passenger's side at the front of the car. I was exiting the circle, they were entering; at least neither of us was going particularly fast.
I'm 34, and I'd never been in a car accident before. I started shaking and blinking and just saying, "Oh my god. Oh my god," over and over again. I knew I had to pull over. Started driving slowly - well, I couldn't drive anything but slowly. The front of my car was apparently hanging off and dragging along the road, scratching against the gravel in protest.
Thank god Lily didn't flinch. Thank god our cars were moving slowly. Thank god no one was really injured. I guess my left hand flew off the steering wheel and hit the door. I don't remember it happening, but the knuckle of my left pointer finger still hurts days later.
My usual calm, British husband got out of the car and pretty aggressively started screaming at the other driver and his two passengers, all of whom got out of the car. They screamed back and forth. The other driver tried his best to blame the accident on us.
Whose fault was it? I couldn't help thinking as I sat there watching the men argue. Did I look at who was entering the circle closely enough? I usually do. I know people are extra idiotic at this traffic circle, so I'm usually extra careful. But I hadn't seen this car at all. How had I so completely missed it? Was there any way I could have slowed down to avoid them?
How was my car?
How was my baby?
Both parties called the police while I continued to sit uselessly in the car. I finally got out once the police officer arrived. He wanted to know how I was doing - okay, but at the same time, so not okay. He asked if I wanted to check on my baby. How had I not done that already? Did that make me a bad mother? No, of course not. Jon was back there with her when it happened. I knew she was fine.
Actually, the police asked the other car for their story first. Something something... I was coming around the circle... yada yada... I didn't look, they hit me.
I didn't see them. How did I not see them?
"Okay," I heard the police officer saying. "But they were already on the circle, so they had right of way. This was definitely your fault."
That ended the external argument, and I breathed an internal sigh of relief. Not my fault. Which is great, but it doesn't mean I stopped questioning myself. How did I not see them? Could I have slowed down? (You didn't see them because they were in your blind spot, it was dark, and they were driving a black car. You didn't see them because they sped on faster than you anticipated a car coming onto the circle would have. You didn't see them because they shouldn't have made any move to enter. And if you had slowed down, you may have been rear ended.) Why did I come home this way? This isn't the way we went. Why didn't we just go out for dinner somewhere? Why wasn't I in the other place I was supposed to be in today?
Endless circles.
The police officer was extremely nice to everyone involved, which was good. He had us all get into our cars while we waited for a tow truck since it was cold out. Once it arrived, I suddenly realized the other car had gone. We didn't get their insurance, we have no idea if they got a ticket. I'm sure all of that will be on the accident report as the cop did get their information before ours. But what good am I in a crisis? Clearly none.
I have no idea what kind of damage was done to the other car. I never saw their collision site. Meanwhile, the tow truck driver came and literally just ripped the front piece of my car off. I watched other cars speeding around the circle drive over a small piece of my car again and again and again. We put Lily in her car seat on the side of the road - she was still calm - and threw as much of my stuff as possible into a bag so we could bring it home with us. Three CD cases. CDs that didn't make it into the cases. Car charger. No, not the old GPS, who uses that anymore?
Why are these my priorities? Why am I worried about CDs? Why can't I just get home?
I don't know what kind of damage was really done to the car. Not sure if it was anything structural. I do know a light flashed to tell me my wiper fluid was low, so I guess that container is broken.
But my car is a 2009, so is there any way possible it's worth enough money for it to not be totaled?
I don't know. I don't even know when I'll know. We called insurance yesterday, but no one works on Sundays. Now I have something to look forward to when I go home from work. Call the towing place to find out where exactly the car is. Call insurance and answer questions I'm not even sure I can answer. Hope I can get a loaner car today so I don't have to keep bumming rides to work. But my husband has a competition for a club he coaches this weekend, so he's out late every night this week. I coach the same club in a different region, and our competition is next weekend, so that'll take up time next week.
You know. If car shopping is a necessity.
I'm awful at making decisions at the best of times. But if I end up needing a car, I'm going to feel some time crunch about getting a new one. I don't want to have a loaner forever. I don't want to depend on someone else.
But I also am not sure what kind of car I want, which present its own problem. I've been driving an Altima since 2006, had three of them. I love them. But do we want something larger to accommodate a growing family? My parents drove a minivan when I was growing up. I was an only child, but the vans were still great for space, for road trips, for bringing friends along. We never had to worry ever about fitting anything anywhere. The sliding doors are a major bonus feature. (Sounds ridiculous, but did I ever write about the time I went the Panera with Lily and my mother in law, and a car parked so close to my passenger's side that I couldn't open the door to put Lily's car seat in? Luckily someone was with me, so she could hold Lily while I pulled the car back slightly. What would I have done if I had been on my own? Probably gone back into Panera and sat there until someone moved their car. The idea of not having to worry about that is tantalizing.)
There are also SUVs. A lot more trunk space than an Altima, but not as large as a van. Less soccer mom, cooler looking. Not that I care about those things. Part of me feels if I'm going to go with a larger car, I might as well go for the one with more space if they're going to be the same price.
Although I haven't driven anything but an Altima in years. I used to drive the minivan occasionally when I had my permit, and I hated how much car it was. I drove it years later and didn't have any problem with it. In other words, I need to test drive whatever I might want to get. And based on the busy schedule I posted above, plus the addition of a five month old, when do I have time to do that?
Maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Maybe the damage to my car will be fixable and I won't even have to pay anything since it wasn't my fault. I'll continue to not have a car payment. I won't have a time crunch to test drive new vehicles and make up my unmakeupable mind.
Either way, I'll always hold my breath when I drive around that circle. "We're always called out here for accidents, multiple times a week," both the cop and the truck driver told me. Great, thanks for that. It's only around the corner from my house and can't always be avoided.
Now I'm actually considering putting that stupid Baby on Board sticker on my car.
At least Lily giggled as we rode home in the back of a police car, me holding her car seat for dear life to keep it from sliding off the hard plastic seats. A new experience for all of us.
There's a first time for everything.
"Watch out!" from the backseat.
Bam!
They hit us.
I hadn't even seen the car come up on my left side. They hit near the wheel well of the passenger's side at the front of the car. I was exiting the circle, they were entering; at least neither of us was going particularly fast.
I'm 34, and I'd never been in a car accident before. I started shaking and blinking and just saying, "Oh my god. Oh my god," over and over again. I knew I had to pull over. Started driving slowly - well, I couldn't drive anything but slowly. The front of my car was apparently hanging off and dragging along the road, scratching against the gravel in protest.
Thank god Lily didn't flinch. Thank god our cars were moving slowly. Thank god no one was really injured. I guess my left hand flew off the steering wheel and hit the door. I don't remember it happening, but the knuckle of my left pointer finger still hurts days later.
My usual calm, British husband got out of the car and pretty aggressively started screaming at the other driver and his two passengers, all of whom got out of the car. They screamed back and forth. The other driver tried his best to blame the accident on us.
Whose fault was it? I couldn't help thinking as I sat there watching the men argue. Did I look at who was entering the circle closely enough? I usually do. I know people are extra idiotic at this traffic circle, so I'm usually extra careful. But I hadn't seen this car at all. How had I so completely missed it? Was there any way I could have slowed down to avoid them?
How was my car?
How was my baby?
Both parties called the police while I continued to sit uselessly in the car. I finally got out once the police officer arrived. He wanted to know how I was doing - okay, but at the same time, so not okay. He asked if I wanted to check on my baby. How had I not done that already? Did that make me a bad mother? No, of course not. Jon was back there with her when it happened. I knew she was fine.
Actually, the police asked the other car for their story first. Something something... I was coming around the circle... yada yada... I didn't look, they hit me.
I didn't see them. How did I not see them?
"Okay," I heard the police officer saying. "But they were already on the circle, so they had right of way. This was definitely your fault."
That ended the external argument, and I breathed an internal sigh of relief. Not my fault. Which is great, but it doesn't mean I stopped questioning myself. How did I not see them? Could I have slowed down? (You didn't see them because they were in your blind spot, it was dark, and they were driving a black car. You didn't see them because they sped on faster than you anticipated a car coming onto the circle would have. You didn't see them because they shouldn't have made any move to enter. And if you had slowed down, you may have been rear ended.) Why did I come home this way? This isn't the way we went. Why didn't we just go out for dinner somewhere? Why wasn't I in the other place I was supposed to be in today?
Endless circles.
The police officer was extremely nice to everyone involved, which was good. He had us all get into our cars while we waited for a tow truck since it was cold out. Once it arrived, I suddenly realized the other car had gone. We didn't get their insurance, we have no idea if they got a ticket. I'm sure all of that will be on the accident report as the cop did get their information before ours. But what good am I in a crisis? Clearly none.
I have no idea what kind of damage was done to the other car. I never saw their collision site. Meanwhile, the tow truck driver came and literally just ripped the front piece of my car off. I watched other cars speeding around the circle drive over a small piece of my car again and again and again. We put Lily in her car seat on the side of the road - she was still calm - and threw as much of my stuff as possible into a bag so we could bring it home with us. Three CD cases. CDs that didn't make it into the cases. Car charger. No, not the old GPS, who uses that anymore?
Why are these my priorities? Why am I worried about CDs? Why can't I just get home?
I don't know what kind of damage was really done to the car. Not sure if it was anything structural. I do know a light flashed to tell me my wiper fluid was low, so I guess that container is broken.
But my car is a 2009, so is there any way possible it's worth enough money for it to not be totaled?
I don't know. I don't even know when I'll know. We called insurance yesterday, but no one works on Sundays. Now I have something to look forward to when I go home from work. Call the towing place to find out where exactly the car is. Call insurance and answer questions I'm not even sure I can answer. Hope I can get a loaner car today so I don't have to keep bumming rides to work. But my husband has a competition for a club he coaches this weekend, so he's out late every night this week. I coach the same club in a different region, and our competition is next weekend, so that'll take up time next week.
You know. If car shopping is a necessity.
I'm awful at making decisions at the best of times. But if I end up needing a car, I'm going to feel some time crunch about getting a new one. I don't want to have a loaner forever. I don't want to depend on someone else.
But I also am not sure what kind of car I want, which present its own problem. I've been driving an Altima since 2006, had three of them. I love them. But do we want something larger to accommodate a growing family? My parents drove a minivan when I was growing up. I was an only child, but the vans were still great for space, for road trips, for bringing friends along. We never had to worry ever about fitting anything anywhere. The sliding doors are a major bonus feature. (Sounds ridiculous, but did I ever write about the time I went the Panera with Lily and my mother in law, and a car parked so close to my passenger's side that I couldn't open the door to put Lily's car seat in? Luckily someone was with me, so she could hold Lily while I pulled the car back slightly. What would I have done if I had been on my own? Probably gone back into Panera and sat there until someone moved their car. The idea of not having to worry about that is tantalizing.)
There are also SUVs. A lot more trunk space than an Altima, but not as large as a van. Less soccer mom, cooler looking. Not that I care about those things. Part of me feels if I'm going to go with a larger car, I might as well go for the one with more space if they're going to be the same price.
Although I haven't driven anything but an Altima in years. I used to drive the minivan occasionally when I had my permit, and I hated how much car it was. I drove it years later and didn't have any problem with it. In other words, I need to test drive whatever I might want to get. And based on the busy schedule I posted above, plus the addition of a five month old, when do I have time to do that?
Maybe I'm worrying for nothing. Maybe the damage to my car will be fixable and I won't even have to pay anything since it wasn't my fault. I'll continue to not have a car payment. I won't have a time crunch to test drive new vehicles and make up my unmakeupable mind.
Either way, I'll always hold my breath when I drive around that circle. "We're always called out here for accidents, multiple times a week," both the cop and the truck driver told me. Great, thanks for that. It's only around the corner from my house and can't always be avoided.
Now I'm actually considering putting that stupid Baby on Board sticker on my car.
At least Lily giggled as we rode home in the back of a police car, me holding her car seat for dear life to keep it from sliding off the hard plastic seats. A new experience for all of us.
There's a first time for everything.
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