Getting Over It
At some point, I decided to get over my worries. What was I going to do, really? Worry a whole bunch about something I had no control over? One woman online (I know, the most trustworthy type) told me if my issue became more serious, it wouldn't kick in until the third trimester, anyway. I couldn't walk around sending out all these negative vibes. No way.
It didn't hurt that I spoke to coworkers who have relatives who were delivered early, around the 28 week mark at the beginning of the third trimester, and they all turned out okay. And those people were born 28 years ago or 19 years ago, and obviously medicine has come aways since then. If I could make it that far, things would more than likely be okay. Not that I want Baby Girl to be born that early and be at risk and be in an incubator and make us move into the hospital, but I felt a lot more comforted that I wouldn't have this thing we've worked so hard for suddenly ripped away from us.
I also happen to go to a fantastic chiropractor who's passionate about working with babies (yup - he adjusts babies), children, and pregnant women. I mentioned the issue to him, and he shrugged it off. "I'd say 60-70% of women have umbilical cord issues," he told me. "When I was in utero, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My dad did adjustments on my mom, and it gave me more space to move around, so the problem fixed itself. You'll be fine."
Hmm. Good to know. I wasn't sure the umbilical cord can change where it's attached to the placenta, but I also don't really know anything about babies, like, at all, so I trusted his words more than my own worries.
When I finally saw my doctor last week, it was business as usual. The nurse was pleased that even though I really am showing now, you can't' tell I'm pregnant at all from the back. I spent a lot of time in the waiting room reading, not minding the wait at all with a book, but when the doctor came in, he said, "Let's get that heart beat and get you out of here."
"Um, I do have one question," I said, a little weirded out he didn't bring it up.
"The placenta thing," he said. "Don't even worry about it. Your condition is marginal. It isn't even extreme. I had a woman recently who had it much worse than you did. We did an ultrasound at 32 weeks, and the problem had fixed itself. Your uterus still has a lot of growing to do. Things are going to shift around. I'll order another ultrasound around 32 weeks, but it's going to have fixed itself by then."
Glad I decided not to worry, then. As much as he can be a tiny bit scatterbrained, I keep thinking about all the positive reviews of my OB I've gotten, particularly in the surgery department. He knows his stuff.
Also, as I'm writing this, I finally looked up the condition online. It only happens in 7% of pregnancies, but the vast majority of them do right themselves. I trust no one is lying to me.
Especially not the internet. ;)
Otherwise, I'm still feeling good these days. BG's movements are not slowing down, and feeling them continues to be a ton of fun. She seems most active around 9am, 11am, and then pretty much all evening. This week, I also started to be able to see movement. It looks like popcorn popping in my stomach. Jon and I can't help but giggle every time we see it. Of course, I can spend 10 minutes starting at my stomach after feeling her move and see nothing, but the moment I look away, pop!
She's not a dancing monkey, performing when we want her to. Hopefully this isn't super indicative of her personality when she's actually here! Want her strong willed and sassy, but not to the point we butt heads too often!
I'm pretty amazed at how accepting I am of my expanding body, by the way. Having been an overweight kid who worked hard to get and stay in shape from high school onwards, I'm usually pretty concerned with what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising. When I was going through IVF, I wasn't allowed to exercise, and I decided to let go of my food concerns. I had enough stress worrying about whether or not the embryo transfer would take and how disappointing it would have been if it didn't that I just couldn't worry about a number on a scale of getting weighed in at Weight Watchers, where I'm a lifetime member.
If I wanted to eat potato chips, I was going to comfort my body and eat the darn potato chips and not worry about it. And so I ate a lot of potato chips in the beginning of my pregnancy. And more fried food than normal. More sugar. Just more, particularly of things I wouldn't usually even consider putting in my mouth without feeling guilty when I wasn't pregnant.
When I went to my OB for the first time, a friend of mine tipped me off to ask not to have my weight divulged to me unless it became an issue. I asked for that, and the nurse has never given me a number.
That said, I don't feel like my body shape has changed outside my swollen baby bump. I don't seem to have flabbier arms or a double chin developing. As I move further into the pregnancy (I'm not starting my sixth month, which is dizzying), I'm making some better food choices. I haven't stopped for mozzarella sticks and sugary cappuccino on the way home in awhile. I have plenty of tops and dresses that still fit me. I have been able to work out over the last few weeks, though at a much lesser intensity than I normally do. (In fact, last night, as I went through some moderate intensity DVDs, I missed pushing myself to my sweaty limits, dripping, forcing my muscles to ache.)
But somehow, this hasn't affected my weight or body image much, which is such a relief. It's a blanket of worry that usually stresses me to some extent at least every day, so taking it off has been quite freeing. I mentioned this to a friend, who sagely said, "You know, you don't ever have to get on a scale again."
Seems common sense, but it sounded revolutionary. If it makes me happy and my clothes fit, why should I worry that much? In fact, I have a theory that worrying less has made it easier to maintain my weight. It's also possible I was eating too few calories before to lose anything.
All of this is of concern to me because I don't want my daughter to end up with the same body image issues and worries I've had. Now that I've stopped worrying about it myself, I'm conscious of just how many people talk about food and their weight all the time. It's kind of ridiculous. I want to take this societal pressure off the unborn girl before she becomes obsessed with some worry that isn't really worth it. (I mean, if she's morbidly obese or something, sure, but if all she wants to do is occasionally eat French fries without feeling guilty? Go for it.) It's not a guilt, not a feeling that she's worse than others because she doesn't wear a size 0, that I want plaguing her. She's my kid - she's going to be short and not exactly a stick figure, and WHO REALLY CARES? I've let weight and food stand in the way of my happiness and comfort for too much of my life. I will not raise my daughter to be the same.
I hope.
It didn't hurt that I spoke to coworkers who have relatives who were delivered early, around the 28 week mark at the beginning of the third trimester, and they all turned out okay. And those people were born 28 years ago or 19 years ago, and obviously medicine has come aways since then. If I could make it that far, things would more than likely be okay. Not that I want Baby Girl to be born that early and be at risk and be in an incubator and make us move into the hospital, but I felt a lot more comforted that I wouldn't have this thing we've worked so hard for suddenly ripped away from us.
I also happen to go to a fantastic chiropractor who's passionate about working with babies (yup - he adjusts babies), children, and pregnant women. I mentioned the issue to him, and he shrugged it off. "I'd say 60-70% of women have umbilical cord issues," he told me. "When I was in utero, the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. My dad did adjustments on my mom, and it gave me more space to move around, so the problem fixed itself. You'll be fine."
Hmm. Good to know. I wasn't sure the umbilical cord can change where it's attached to the placenta, but I also don't really know anything about babies, like, at all, so I trusted his words more than my own worries.
When I finally saw my doctor last week, it was business as usual. The nurse was pleased that even though I really am showing now, you can't' tell I'm pregnant at all from the back. I spent a lot of time in the waiting room reading, not minding the wait at all with a book, but when the doctor came in, he said, "Let's get that heart beat and get you out of here."
"Um, I do have one question," I said, a little weirded out he didn't bring it up.
"The placenta thing," he said. "Don't even worry about it. Your condition is marginal. It isn't even extreme. I had a woman recently who had it much worse than you did. We did an ultrasound at 32 weeks, and the problem had fixed itself. Your uterus still has a lot of growing to do. Things are going to shift around. I'll order another ultrasound around 32 weeks, but it's going to have fixed itself by then."
Glad I decided not to worry, then. As much as he can be a tiny bit scatterbrained, I keep thinking about all the positive reviews of my OB I've gotten, particularly in the surgery department. He knows his stuff.
Also, as I'm writing this, I finally looked up the condition online. It only happens in 7% of pregnancies, but the vast majority of them do right themselves. I trust no one is lying to me.
Especially not the internet. ;)
Otherwise, I'm still feeling good these days. BG's movements are not slowing down, and feeling them continues to be a ton of fun. She seems most active around 9am, 11am, and then pretty much all evening. This week, I also started to be able to see movement. It looks like popcorn popping in my stomach. Jon and I can't help but giggle every time we see it. Of course, I can spend 10 minutes starting at my stomach after feeling her move and see nothing, but the moment I look away, pop!
She's not a dancing monkey, performing when we want her to. Hopefully this isn't super indicative of her personality when she's actually here! Want her strong willed and sassy, but not to the point we butt heads too often!
I'm pretty amazed at how accepting I am of my expanding body, by the way. Having been an overweight kid who worked hard to get and stay in shape from high school onwards, I'm usually pretty concerned with what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising. When I was going through IVF, I wasn't allowed to exercise, and I decided to let go of my food concerns. I had enough stress worrying about whether or not the embryo transfer would take and how disappointing it would have been if it didn't that I just couldn't worry about a number on a scale of getting weighed in at Weight Watchers, where I'm a lifetime member.
If I wanted to eat potato chips, I was going to comfort my body and eat the darn potato chips and not worry about it. And so I ate a lot of potato chips in the beginning of my pregnancy. And more fried food than normal. More sugar. Just more, particularly of things I wouldn't usually even consider putting in my mouth without feeling guilty when I wasn't pregnant.
When I went to my OB for the first time, a friend of mine tipped me off to ask not to have my weight divulged to me unless it became an issue. I asked for that, and the nurse has never given me a number.
That said, I don't feel like my body shape has changed outside my swollen baby bump. I don't seem to have flabbier arms or a double chin developing. As I move further into the pregnancy (I'm not starting my sixth month, which is dizzying), I'm making some better food choices. I haven't stopped for mozzarella sticks and sugary cappuccino on the way home in awhile. I have plenty of tops and dresses that still fit me. I have been able to work out over the last few weeks, though at a much lesser intensity than I normally do. (In fact, last night, as I went through some moderate intensity DVDs, I missed pushing myself to my sweaty limits, dripping, forcing my muscles to ache.)
But somehow, this hasn't affected my weight or body image much, which is such a relief. It's a blanket of worry that usually stresses me to some extent at least every day, so taking it off has been quite freeing. I mentioned this to a friend, who sagely said, "You know, you don't ever have to get on a scale again."
Seems common sense, but it sounded revolutionary. If it makes me happy and my clothes fit, why should I worry that much? In fact, I have a theory that worrying less has made it easier to maintain my weight. It's also possible I was eating too few calories before to lose anything.
All of this is of concern to me because I don't want my daughter to end up with the same body image issues and worries I've had. Now that I've stopped worrying about it myself, I'm conscious of just how many people talk about food and their weight all the time. It's kind of ridiculous. I want to take this societal pressure off the unborn girl before she becomes obsessed with some worry that isn't really worth it. (I mean, if she's morbidly obese or something, sure, but if all she wants to do is occasionally eat French fries without feeling guilty? Go for it.) It's not a guilt, not a feeling that she's worse than others because she doesn't wear a size 0, that I want plaguing her. She's my kid - she's going to be short and not exactly a stick figure, and WHO REALLY CARES? I've let weight and food stand in the way of my happiness and comfort for too much of my life. I will not raise my daughter to be the same.
I hope.
Comments
Post a Comment